Old Man Ski's Big List of Movie Lists

For some reason, I decided to highlight some of my favorite films.

Why?

While watching John Dies at the End one evening I thought to myself, "Three Armed Sally is one of the best movie bands, I'd listen to this. Camel Holocaust is awesome."

Then I thought of the song "Scotty doesn't know" from Eurotrip. Catchier, sure is.

Then I started making a mental list of movies and songs... Then I added those to a spreadsheet... then... Well, then this page. What ended up happening is that I kind of organized my favorite movies into a few categories and that's what this is. Each started as a "top five" list... and then top ten... Now it's whatever they end up being. Nothing is really in any order per say, unless I actually say. I'm pretty sure that everything on this list is also in my physical movie collection if you wanna watch or want more info. (Also, I'm sure there are typos here, this is all hand typed in source code editor.)

Categories

Best of the Best of the Best...

These are the best movies ever made. Top tier type shit. Can't go wrong type of movies. Are they really the best, or just my favorites? I don't know. It's my fucking list. You get your own site and make your own damn list if you have problems. No I'm not getting defensive, you're getting defensive.

  • After the Thin Man - A sequel better, if only slightly, than the original. If I were more lazy, the first three Thin Man movies would be the first three here.
  • The Big Lebowoski - The Dude abides.
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark - Too good of a film to be left off.
  • The Fifth Element - For a French dude, Besson sure made fun, visual, action movie.
  • The Life Aquatic - My favorite Anderson film. Just the right amount of style, sadness, and fun.
  • The Big Chill - Darn good film with a great soundtrack which elevates it enough to be on this list.
  • Flash Gordon - He'll save every one of us.
  • Big Trouble in Little China - Hard to have just one Carpenter film on the list, but this one has to be.
  • Firefly / Serenity - Kind of cheating as it's a TV show.
  • The Thin Man - After careful consideration, the first in the series needed to be on the list as well. “Have rhythm in your shaking … a dry martini, you always shake to waltz time”. I love this film.
  • Unforgiven - Just a perfect film.
  • Aliens - Horror action with a plot that actually made sense (unlike some of the newer movies).
  • Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - Two men and their vacation cabin.
  • Mulholland Drive - David Lynch's best movie.
  • Evil Dead 2 - I still remember that movie cover in the video store.
  • Captain Ron - Humor with a heart. I love this film.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The TV show. I'm cheating, but it's my list.
  • Akira - The first anime I saw and one of the best made.
  • The Lord of the Rings - All three. The extended editions. It's just one long film.
  • James Bond - Most of them. Rather many of them. I don't wanna pick.
  • Fight Club - It's just a great film.

Funny Films

Movies that just want you to laugh. Remember when they used to make these? You won't be finding too many new movies on this list. You'll find some dark comedies and some crude comedies and even some wholesome comedies. All films that make me smile

  • Old School - Might just be my favorite comedy.
  • The Big Lebowoski - The Dude abides.
  • Mallrats - Before Kevin Smith ruined He-Man he made a couple really fun movies.
  • Waiting - Never annoy your server.
  • Tropic Thunder - Never go "full retard." Wouldn't be made today.
  • Grosse Point Blank - Never go home. Alright that's enough of that. A dark Dan Aykroyd is a funny Dan Aykroyd.
  • Van Wilder - Come on, his dad was Otter!
  • Fear of a Black Hat - I don't even get most of the early hip hop jokes, but ti still hurt my side the first time I saw it.
  • John Dies at the End - "This door can not be opened." Not the last time you see this on a list.
  • Beerfest - Damn I love this movie while drinking a beer.
  • Super Troopers - Broken Lizard makes some funny shit.
  • The Adventures of Ford Fairlane - "Here's to you..."
  • The Big Hit - I saw this 5 times at the movies... Maybe more...
  • Animal House - The OG college comedy.
  • Caddyshack - For some reason this wasn't on my hand written list.
  • Kentucky Fried Movie - Another film that couldn't be made today.
  • Idiocracy - Now a motion picture and not just life.
  • Empire Records - "What's with today, today?"
  • Ghostbusters - I think this needs to go on the Best of the Best list too.
  • Darnell Dawkins - Needs to be seen to understand.
  • PCU - Satire or documentary?
  • Poolboy 2: Drowning out the Fury - One of those, "did they just say that?" films.

So Bad that they are Good Films

Probably should be a lot more of these, but I generally think the bad movies I like are actually good movies. Probably not true... but whatever. These films are objectively bad, but I love them.

  • Death Stalker 2 - One of MANY Corman and/or Wynorski films that could be on that list. Monique Gabrielle puts this one over the top.
  • Gater Bait - "Hey Big T, that's you!" Probably could include the sequel too.
  • American Movie - A movie about a passionate man just trying to make a movie.
  • Jesus Christ - Vampire Slayer - The first low budget indy film I bought on DVD.
  • Dark Star - John Carpenter? Dan OBannon? Is this movie on the right list?

"What the Fuck" films

Sometimes when watching a movie, you think "What the Fuck?!?" I like a lot of these movies, and I think these are the best of those. This list really could go on a lot longer.

  • Tokyo Gore Police - Pretty descriptive title.
  • Rare Exports - It's a Christmas movie.
  • Brain Damage - If only that was what the movie was about.
  • Cocaine Bear - Again, that's a pretty descriptive title.
  • Head of the Family - More to that title than being the dad.
  • Danger 5 - One of the most imaginative TV shows ever made.
  • Psycho Gorman - Almost didn't make the list because of an unlikeable character... but it's still pretty damn good.
  • Society - The shunting.
  • Twin Peaks / Fire Walk with Me - I don't really think this is a WTF, but many people do. It's deeper than may you think and truly amazing.
  • Forbidden Zone - The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo.
  • Rubber - A horror film about a tire.
  • Ninja 3 - The domination - A ninja, exorcist, and 80s aerobics culture movie.
  • Wolf Cop - He's a wolf. He's a cop.
  • Bubba Ho Tep - Elvis vs. the Mummy. Don Coscarelli on the list again.
  • Bad Taste - Who gave this guy the reins of Lord of the Rings?
  • Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter - Jesus Christ and a Mexican wrestler hunt down lesbian vampires. Pretty straight forward. "Will there be enough?"
  • Life Force - Tobe Cooper. Vampires from Space.
  • Black Sheep - Killer Sheep. Wife hates this one.
  • Meet the Feebles - Muppets. On Crack. Literally. Again, who gave this guy the green light for LoTR?
  • Darnell Dawkins - More heart than a movie like this deserves.
  • Pool Boy 2 - As an FYI, there is no Pool Boy 1.
  • Mandy - Nick Cage being as Nicolas Cage as he can be. Wild movie.
  • True Stories - Pretty tame compared to the others here, but still as WTF film by David Byrne... Yes that David Byrne.

Good movies that I'll never watch again

Sometimes a movie can be so good that it's too effective. If it makes me too sad, too stressed, or too angry... I just can't watch it again, but I recognize its brilliance. These are those films.

  • The Decent - Too stressful.
  • Cool Hand Luke - Too angry.
  • One Who Flew over the Cockoo's Nest - Too angry.
  • The Witch - Too scary. Too sad.
  • Bad Times at the El Royale - One part is too sad.

Horror Films

The horror films that I like the most. There is a second category for horror movies that are really scary, these may not fall into that category. A lot of horror is, let's face it, comedies. Most of these are products of the 80's and early 90's... the golden, video store, era. Many of these focus on the 3 B's. Beasts, Blood, and Boobs.

  • Night of the Demons - 3Bs. Not the remake, and less so the sequels, but the original 80's horror about some kids who party in a possessed funeral parlour on halloween is pretty damn perfect.
  • Evil Dead 2 - 2Bs. 40 years later this is still being talked about and iterated upon... all for a good reason.
  • There's Nothing Out There - 3Bs. Self aware horror comedy years before Scream.
  • Reinfeld - 1B. Didn't expect this to be so good. Don't know if it will stand the test of time, but what a ride!
  • Return of the Living Dead - 3Bs. Dan O'Bannon giving us the movie that established that zombies eat brains. Not the first or the last Linnea Quigley movie here.
  • Lost Boys - 1B. Taking the Vampires out of the Castle in the perfect 80s film.
  • Prince of Darkness - 1B. Smart and scary Carpenter film. Saw it on video tape and it's lived rent free in my mind since.
  • The Conjuring - 0Bs... Is that right? Good haunted house movie.
  • Mouth of Madness - 2Bs. Last of the Apocalypse trilogy in order of production... not sure how I'd place it in ranking.
  • Event Horizon - 1B. Just added this as it's omission was clearly an oversight. Sam Neil. In Space. In a haunted house (ship). (Future Ski here, it was on the next list)
  • Hatchet / Victor Crowley - 3Bs. Honestly, they all blend together to me. But if I have to pick a slasher, these are my favorites (I'm tired of fighting with folks when I say Jason X is my favorite Friday the 13th).
  • Bram Strokers Dracula - 3Bs. One of the best takes on the character and my favorite. Love the style. Sadly one of the only places I think Keanu Reeves should have sat out.
  • Cabin in the Woods - 3Bs. Meta.
  • Dog Soldiers - 2Bs. Very solid werewolf movie. Does them right.
  • Dead Alive - 2Bs. "I kick ass for the Lord"... ... and they gave him a blank check for LoTR???
  • Zombie - 3Bs. I felt like I needed a giallo film on the list (which this isn't) and that thought led me there.
  • Pumpkinhead - 2Bs. Almost ended up here. That poor little boy. Excellent practical effects.
  • Reanimator - 3Bs. Just added this when I added We Are Still Here in the category below. Can't forget this Barbra Crampton classic.

Frightening and Horrific Horror

This really shouldn't be a seperate list. There is way too much overlap and in most cases the little distinction between this list and the one above. What stands out are these films have little or no elements of comedy. Because of that I wanted a separate category.

  • We Are Still Here - Very well done haunted house movie.
  • Exorcist - If you believe in the devil, this is scary.
  • Exorcist 3 - Sometimes I consider it better than the original.
  • IT - Not so much the mini series, which is good, but the remake films. Those were really well done.
  • Prince of Darkness - Second film in Carpenter's apocalypse trilogy. The ending...
  • The Thing - Another Kurt Russell and another John Carpenter film on the page. Who would have guessed.
  • Aliens - I know Alien is more of a horror, but Aliens is just as scary to me. "Game over man."
  • Jug Face - Probably should be in under rated files too. Hopelessness and demons.
  • Lovely Molly - Demons scare me. This is demons. Really underappreciated movie.
  • It Follows - Neat take on STDs. This is a film I thought about well after viewing.
  • Oculas - So good I hated it. This movie I thought of for months after seeing it.
  • The Shining - Stanley Kubrick made a horror movie.
  • Event Horizon - I guess I did have this on the page. Now it's on two lists. Shame there will never be a director's cut.
  • The Void - The closest thing to a 80s John Carpenter horror today and one of the best examples of Lovecroftian horror.

Action Films

Who needs plot when shit is blowing up? Originally action and adventure were merged... but it didn't make a lot of sense.

  • Crank - I avoided this for years because it looked so stupid. It is stupid. But awesome.
  • The Meg - Transporter in the ocean. Crank and The Meg are on the list... why not Transporter.
  • John Wick - ...
  • Drive Angry - So much fun. Cage on another rampage.
  • Boondocks Saints - "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
  • Predator - Arnie at his best. Or another governor saying "I ain't got time to bleed".
  • Soldier - SciFi action with Kurt Russell.
  • Dread - Probably the best comic movie made.
  • The Big Hit - "That's my WORD!" ... If I mention this movie I am required by law to type this. "Trace Buster Buster".
  • Bond Films - Make that MODERN Bond films, the (better) classics weren't action. I'm not picking.
  • Commando - Things go boom.

Adventure Films

Action with a sense of wonder and exploration.

  • High Road to China - Indiana Jones on a bender and in a plane.
  • Lost Boys - Goonies with vampires.
  • The Goonies - The Lost Boys with pirates.
  • Big Trouble in Little China - On yet another list. Can't deny this is a great adventure movie with magic, monsters, kung fu, and exploration under the streets of San Francisco.
  • 300 - Frank Miller. Hopeless cause. Self sacrifice. This couldn't have gone wrong or made today.
  • Bond Films - Classic Bond films. I'm not picking.
  • Raiders of the Lost Ark - Genre defining adventure film.
  • The Librarian movies - I think these fit here as well.

War

I don't watch a lot of war movies these days. When I do it's often a WWII comedy. These aren't those.

  • Patton - The first great war movie I ever saw as a kid. George C Scott is Patton.
  • Apocalypse Now - Only movie banned from certain movie watching parties. (Heart of Darkness is amazing too).
  • We Were Soldiers - Probably my favorite Vietnam movie.
  • Black Hawk Down - The best "modern" war movie.
  • Red Dawn - If you even wondered if I was talking about the remake, fuck you.
  • First Blood - As much of a war movie as any of the others here.
  • Full Metal Jacket - Stanley Kubrick made a war movie.

Underrated Gold

These are movies that probably could be fit into other categories, but they may not exactly be the best of the best. Still, I think these need a lot more recognition than they get and are still some of my favorite movies.

  • Lair of the White Worm - Bram Stoker's other movie adaption. With Hugh Grant playing as Hugh Grant. Fun little 3B horror film.
  • There is Nothing Out There - Scream, but with an alien, more boobs, and a bit more comedy.
  • Werewolves Within - "The streets are all storm-fucked". Plus... Milana Vayntrub.
  • Brutal Massacre - Making a horror movie is hard.
  • Behind the Mask - A really unique take on the slasher genre. Well done.
  • Serial Mom - Probably John Waters most accessible movie (Pecker might deserve to be on this list too), but not really well known despite a great cast.
  • Ninth Gate - I love this atmospheric thriller with dark religious themes.
  • Soldier - Made my action list, but never made it too big for how good it is.
  • John Dies at the End - I think you know how I feel about this movie (it's acronym isn't usable)
  • Bubba Ho Tep - Bruce makes a great Elvis.
  • Tucker and Dale vs. Evil - Every horror fan should be singing this movie's praises.
  • Ghosts of Mars - It's not that bad. Fuck all you all.
  • The Shadow - Better than most superhero movies these days.
  • The Void - Feels like a missing 80s film for all the right reasons including practical effects.
  • Dark City - The Matrix before The Matrix.

Westerns and othe Period Films

  • The Good, the Bad, the Ugly - The best of a great trilogy.
  • Pale Rider - Eastwood was perfect, a better High Plains Drifter in every way.
  • Unforgiven - This might be the greatest Western ever made.
  • The Ghost and the Darkness - Africa, sure. Still feels like a Western. Man vs. Nature.
  • Oh Brother Where Art Thou - Best rendition of a Greek epic.
  • Quigley Down Under - Almost a feel good movie, but a western regardless of where it was set.
  • The Hateful 8 - A claustrophobic but somehow grand film that is dirty and gritty.
  • The Outlaw Jose Wales - How the hell did I forget this one.

Feel good and / or family films

Kids could watch any of these, but not all of them are for kids. Sometimes you just want to watch a movie that makes you feel good. Have a chuckle and imagine that everything is going to turn out all right.

  • Monster Squad - Kids first horror movie.
  • Second Hand Lions - It'll choke you up. Or you are souless.
  • The Cutting Edge - I don't know I liked this since I was a kid. Seeing Moira in FWWM was a bit of a shock though.
  • Goon - Another washed up hocky player movie.
  • Black Beard's Ghost - First saw this as a Disney Sunday night movie. Before Disney got ... messege driven...
  • Chef - It's got heart and the whole family can watch it.
  • Beack to the Beach - I thought this was so funny as a kid, long before I even saw a Frankie and Annett movie.
  • Indian Summer - Another summer camp movie for grownups.
  • Undercover Blues - One of the best and funnest family / feel good movies. Stanley Tucci steals the show.
  • Inner Space - I alwyas liked Dennis Quaid and it shows. "Zero Defects".
  • Sasquach Gang - KIds growing up, having a hard time, but making it.
  • The Castle - Man vs Nature. In this case the force of nature is a lumbering bureaucracy.
  • Captain Ron - You can tell this list is in no particular order because Captain Ron isn't at the top.
  • Goonies - Who doesn't love the Goonies?
  • Any Muppets Movie - Who doesn't love the Muppets?
  • Harvey - Always makes me wanna wander down to a bar.

The Classics

Classics are both easy and hard "Best Of" category to pick. What I consider a "classic" film is something made before the mid-60s. No instant or modern classics here. Of the thousands of movies made before the Lyndon Johnson administration, there were bound to be amazing works of art in there. The sheer number of films that fit that criteria make it hard to narrow the choices down, finding great films is realivly easy. These are the ones I like the most and keep coming back to.

  • Harvey - "Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."
  • The Thin Man - "Well, can't you tell us anything about the case?" "Yes, it's putting me way behind in my drinking."
  • After the Thin Man - "Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm thirsty."
  • Another Thin Man - "I saw a great group of men standing around a table. I knew there was only one woman in the world who could attract men like that - a woman with a lot of money."
  • Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Home - "It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The minute you start they put you on the all-American sucker list. You start out to build a home and wind up in the poorhouse. And if it can happen to me, what about the guys who aren't making $15,000 a year? The ones who want a home of their own. It's a conspiracy, I tell you - -against every boy and girl who were ever in love."
  • Topper - "Say, if I'm in the way, you folks could leave."
  • Some Like it Hot - "I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste."
  • Fighting Kentuckian - "What kept ya'?" "Andy Jackson was makin' a speech."
  • Patton - "Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
  • His Girl Friday - "A big fat lummox like you hiring an airplane to write: "Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter." Delayed our divorce 20 minutes while the judge went out and watched it."
  • Donovans Reef - "Well, there is our Mike Donovan. Three children and not one marriage. Oh, I do not say that he's the first man to put the cart before the horse, but three carts and no horse? Huh?"
  • Operation Petticoat - "You see, when a girl is under 21, she's protected by law. When she's over 65, she's protected by nature. Anywhere in between, she's fair game! Look out!"
  • Father Goose - "All of them Frank."

The Perfect Late Night Films

What makes a late night film, well, first define late night as drinking way to much and going to sleep isn't the plan. A late night movie should be familiar, conforting, non-complicated, fun. Something where you don't need to hang on to every scene. It should make you laugh. If not laugh, at least smile. These are movies I tend to keep going back to.

  • Drop Dead Gorgeous - Yeah, I had a thing for Kirsten Dunst for a long while.
  • Crank - Non-stop silly fun.
  • Bring It On - Did I mention Kirsten? PLus this has Eliza Dushku too.
  • The Fifth Element - MultipasS!
  • Highway to Hell - Underrated but fun road trip movie to hell.
  • Willy's Wonderland - Cage being Cage again.
  • Flash Gordon - What wasn't better in the 80s?
  • Hudson Hawk - I have no idea how this was a flop. So much fun.
  • Buckaroo Bonzai - 80s camp and comedy scifi.
  • Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas - This is bat country.
  • John Dies at the End - Fun, quotable, monsters, boobs, and interesting as all hell.
  • Tucker and Dale vs Evil - Can watch this anytime.
  • Ready Player One - Got all the nostalgia vibes you need and some good action scenes. Good 3d too.
  • Evil Dead 2 - When you want a horror.
  • Club Dread - When you want a horror or maybe also a comedy.
  • The Big Hit - Just thinking about something to type made me smile and want to watch it again.
  • Happy Campers - Never went to camp, but I love camp movies. Go figure.
  • Darnell Dawkins - St. James Saint James production.
  • Pool Boy 2: Drowning out the Fury - St. James Saint James production even more off the rails.
  • Harvey - Makes you feel good and makes you drink martinis.
  • Thin Man Movies - Makes you smile and makes you drink martinis.
  • Big Trouble in Little China - Perfect late night movie. The category was created basically for this movie.
  • Pulp Fiction - This movie feels like college and late nights.
  • Old School - I probably watch this late more than any other.

Best Bands in Films

The catigory that started this who page. Movies that had really cool bands or at least a really cool song.

  • John Dies at the End - HAIR, HAIR, HAIR!
  • Eurotrip - Scotty doesn't know.
  • The Muppets - Pretty much anything that the Electric Mayhem performs.
  • Fear of a Black Hat - EVERY song in the movie
  • Spinal Tap - There is a reason that the actors still perform as Spinal Tap.
  • Animal House - Shout might be real... but Otis Day and the Knights was not.
  • Blues Brothers - A SNL Sktech first before they became a real band.
  • Scott Pilgrim vs The World - We are Sex Bob-omb is pretty good.
  • The Adventures of Ford Fairlane - You might be thinking Andrew Dice Clay, or one of the many bands in the show. Nope. I'm thinking Pooty Time.

My Final Thoughts On this Whole Darn Exercise

Mainly, that while there is a ass-ton of shit movies, there are also too many really good ones for me to write down. While making a comment on Greek stories above, I realized I don't have any Ray Harihousen films on this list and I don't even know where I'd put one. What about Mel Brooks, the Marx brothers, Hitchcock, the new Dune movies, or more than three Cary Grant films. I wanted to put Back to School, Rushmore, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, My Man Godfrey, and dozens of other on here. The more I think about this, the more incomplete it feels... but... it is what it is.

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